27/3/23
I'm excited to kick off a lofi series of point-and-shoot images with this accidental double exposure taken with a $5.99 thrift store find - a Ricoh AF-100. This camera sporadically jams, creating unique exposures like the one pictured here, and despite my initial annoyance regarding this feature, it's quickly become one of my favorite bits of kit.
In photography, it's easy to become excessively controlling, obsessing about every detail of each frame. While such obsession lays the groundwork for creative excellence, the value of mistakes and the inherent beauty of imperfection is not to be discounted. Such is the case, I find, in all areas of life. The pursuit of excellence is always predominant, yet the obsession with control which often accompanies this endeavor can largely detract from what we gain from our experience. Ultimately by embracing the beauty of the flawed and the unexpected, we may gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. In short, hasten not to judge the quality of that which appears rancid. Even the misshapen and mediocre may tell a story worth hearing.
31/1/22
Life is inherently difficult, but that doesn’t mean life has to be inherently painful. The birds sing, the sun shines, the plants grow, the rain rains, and there are 8 billion incredibly unique and distinctively valuable people in the world, all contributing in their own ways to thousands of unbelievably fascinating communities, many of which are unfathomably beneficial. In these times, there are truly countless things to afflict our emotions and rational minds. However, as tastelessly bohemian as it may sound, what we focus on is truly what perpetuates our reality. Criticize the bad, and mitigate the negative, but be cautious in focusing on bleak. If you believe in the sunshine on the sunny side of the street, you can become it.
30/1/22
Align yourself with that which is highest. Beauty, courage, truth, love, and the desire that all things prosper rather than suffer. Aim at that, the union of all things good, then focus on what is in front of you. You will receive vastly more than what you think you know is right for you.
18/11/21
A posthumous interpretation of journal entries and lessons learned, part 1,
11/2020
Help: a cry
For what I have no eye.
Rejuvenated fear
but for what I have no ear.
The loss of a friend?
Morbidity without end.
Fear of rejection?
The loss of connection.
Flustered not am I,
By the actions of my past,
But deny I must not,
Of my sure-footedness: a lack.
Worst of all now I am unaware of a solution
My anxious thoughts: emotional pollution.
3/11/21
Make something:
string together a rope of meaning,
play unto the hearts of the dreamy,
scream your truth saying don’t demean me,
life flies by so harness your being.
2/11/21
Limitations exist to be overcome. I would usually expound upon such a statement. I generally find short quotes of such a nature lacking in enough complexity and meaning to be worth heeding. However, as I write this my weary mind falls blank and I feel unable to express the meaning swimming around in my mind. Luckily, herein lies this meaning. Although I feel tired, burdened by sickness, and far from the top of my game psychologically, I am still fully aware of my ability to overcome, or at least work at overcoming the limitations at hand. Cliché as the saying may be, life is truly about the journey. fulfillment comes not from reaching a certain goal, but from climbing a never-ending ladder, each rung representing a different goal completed or limitation overcome. So, savor these moments. view each limitation, each adversarial difficulty as an opportunity for growth, as a rung to pull yourself up on. For rising, not to the top, but to the next point you may have previously thought unconquerable, is where true fulfillment is to be found.
1/11/21
To live a life of high quality,
Or to live a life.
Satisfied by those around me,
Yet inside I cry.
Slow down time
And feel the pain,
Organize time
And feel the gain.
A pain in your chest
Is so hard to hide,
But hiding in rest
Leaves the truth behind.
Cling to all you have and you are diminished,
Let go of what you have and perish.
6/9/21
We are all quite evidently surrounded by stimulants. Whether it be the phones we use, books we read, coffee we drink, or music we listen to, we are constantly searching for and employing these instruments that change who we are and how we act, in the very short, to very long term. Although these stimulants are critical to our culture and identity, and often are the best tools we have to improve ourselves and those around us, I feel (and yes, I realize how commonly stated this cliche is) that we oftentimes rely too heavily on the merits of these artifacts. When we stumble into this all too common pitfall, the most personal elements of who we are become stunted. Our souls that shine through with a truthful representation of our individuality can be cut off by our worldly conscious, adulterated by excessive external stimulus. Ultimately we should obviously strive to mitigate this over-stimulation as to stay genuine and spiritually balanced, and simultaneously train ourselves to implement the instrumental side of these artifacts in a positive manner. In my (admittedly limited) experience I have found that strategically limiting specific stimulants can create more opportunity for our souls--our genuine individualities--to shine through and develop who we are personally and spiritually. This means limiting our phone use, regulating the quality of the books we read, taking breaks from caffeine, and putting on a Tchaikovsky record instead of that same 2000s pop hits playlist.
In photography, this has been a major problem to wrestle with. The thousands of photos on Instagram and the thousands of pieces of advice on YouTube easily influence me to create photos in the eye of these stimulants clouding my conscious. Taking this set of black and white film photos in July was massively helpful in creating more opportunity for my genuine individuality to shine through. Taking away the technical things I’m used to (autofocus, image previews, etc.), and removing one of the main compositional factors of my photos (colour), left me in a raw state to create whatever the hell I could—good or bad— from the soul.